NASCAR Bible makes me think of this...
"Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin' me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers." Ricky Bobby
"I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger." Cal Naughton, Jr
"I had a dream where Jesus was a dirty old bum, and I was about to sock him in the face because, well he's a dirty old bum, but then I thought, there's something special about him.." Cal Naughton, Jr
"I like to think of Jesus as an Ice Dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit, and doing an interpretive dance of my life." Cal Naughton, Jr
"I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-Shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party." Cal Naughton, Jr
"I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagles wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!" Cal Naughton, Jr
"[running around on the track in his underwear] Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish God! Help me Allah! AAAAAHHH! Help me Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me!" Ricky Bobby
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